I'm having severe doubts about my whole idea for art. I know I would be strongly advised against it, but I want to go back to my first first idea. Before even the viva voce-esque presentation. My attention span is far too short to achieve what I want to with my current idea, and I'm not so sure about it. I've been so caught up in conceiving a nice deep sort of concept that is good for school that it feels emotionally distant to me. I've been nudged... Or rather advised.. To do painting, because it's what I'm apparently good at (although my mother would beg to differ) and it's fine. I enjoy the feel of paint and painting, but I'm not really a "painter". I illustrate, for lack of a better label. I like to do art to tell a story. A narrative, rather. I like to tell stories.
Perhaps I will go back to that. Back to that lost little boy searching for the stars, who I had abandoned quite early on, but still hold some attachment to. Maybe I could illustrate his story. The story of how he was lost in the world and dreamed of owning the stars. He set out to achieve his goals, only to find a bittersweet end where once obtained, his dreams smashed quite literally. But that lost little stargazer went on the only way he knew how. Determined, he worked at it and polished it, and eventually everything turned out fine.
Perhaps it's a little metaphoric of my HSC major process if I actually go ahead with this... Slow and broken, but hopefully eventually... Eventually it's all fine.
That whole thing feels a little nostalgic to me. I had a lot of picture books when I was little, as kids do, but I keep them to this day and they do hold a lot of sentimental value to me. I love every single page of those books... 'Le Petit Monstre' who refused to go to bed... The beavers who got lost and couldn't find their burrows... The baby bear who got cross with daddy bear... They were all wonderful quaint stitches with wonderful illustrations.
I could do pages like those books. I probably need something linear like that to focus my brain; one thing after the other rather than all over the place. On a relatively smaller scale too. I know if I get worked up about it enough, I can work very quickly, and after that might just be refinement. I might narrate the story too... You don't need text to communicate a story; it'd be nice to rely on the drawings, but text is also a nice storybook element to have. Perhaps to add to my nostalgia-pile, I could get mum to translate it to French. All my books are after all in French. Then I could get the look of it, while saying you don't need words to interpret the story.
Small scale.. Perhaps on good paper? Or again, cardboard? Sheets, though. I'm quite sick of thinking about cardboard. Perhaps a panache of media? I dare not attempt watercolours considering I'm not exactly light of hand. Acrylic, a bit of collage, maybe just a little water colour where it suits. Among others... The only thing that might bother me (for some ocd reason) would be that it would not be realistic in the least, but I fear that it might get too "cartoony"...
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